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(Date Posted:12/20/2006 07:24:32)
'kay...
I'll have to go to the original post and read up on the background. For now, I'll just comment on the mechanics.
Skills: I have nothing personally against a Castillian sword-and-knife school; in fact, there's one posted at my website, but it's intended as more of an underground "bash the Montaigne" school. There are some purists, however, who would turn up their nose at such a thing. More to the point, I think this could be used to add more flavor to the school. (Will explain in a second.)
Knacks: Double-Parry and Riposte are fine. I'd only question Pommel Strike because it sort of shifts the focus away from a "counterattack" school, as Pommel Strike is a bit of a dirty trick Knack. If the school is supposed to be clean and noble, Pommel Strike is out of place. If it's a "win-at-all-costs" school, the focus would be less on counterattacking and more on setting up or exploiting an opponent's weaknesses. Keeping it in might require a little extra exposition, that's all. Also, don't forget to specify the weapons used with each Knack: Riposte (Fencing), Double Parry (Fencing/Knife), and whatever you decide with Pommel Strike.
Apprentice: You need to be more clear with the mechanics of this benefit. NOHP is very clear. The +2 bonus per ML is not: is that a bonus to Active Defenses, or is it a bonus to TN to be hit? If it's the former, ditch the ML boost and switch it to a straight Free Raise (and specify if it applies only to Parry (Knife) or to ANY Parry, including a Double Parry). If it's the latter, it's too potent to combine with the other benefits, and needs to be reduced to +1 per ML.
Similarly, the use of new Knacks with Riposte is a bit too beefy to combine with the other Apprentice abilities. Put it off until Journeyman, or dump the Defensive bonus. Also note that you could clean the text up a bit by saying something like, "When attempting a Riposte, the swordsman may use Double Parry in place of a regular parry, or Pommel Strike instead of an attack (or both)." Or you could eliminate that entirely, avoiding the trap coming up in the J'man ability, and adjust Action Dice based on your ML for purposes of a Riposte.
Now, since the school will need to be presented to the Masters in Kirk before it can offer Guild sanction, you need an alternate goodie to give its practitioners. The easy way would be a free Rank in one of the Swordsman Knacks. However, I think it would be more interesting to say that the practitioner picks up a two-point Enemy (or Rival, or Infamous Teacher, depending on how you phrase it) to represent some traditional Castillian Swordsman who has taken offense to the swordsman's defilement of Castillian swordplay with the sissy Montaigne use of an off-handed knife.
Journeyman: This is another ability that needs to be made more clear. I think it says that after you have used Riposte to successfully parry an attack, and successfully attacked yourself, you can use another Action--even one from later in the Round--to launch a second attack. The TN is raised by 5 and you do an extra unkept die of damage, and your TN to be hit drops by 10 for one Phase. This is a tangled up mess; for one thing, you can already Raise a TN by 5 to do an extra Unkept die of damage, and it doesn't affect your TN to be hit. Secondly, it's only useful if you don't happen to have a current or held Action handy; this isn't a serious problem, but it's enough of one that you don't need to add any negative modifiers. But...
You also need to look at the power combo it's creating by stacking with the Apprentice ability. You're turning Riposte into a power combo: it'll be nothing but Double Parry-Pommel Strike-Attack at TN 5 with at least one DD. That's one ugly attack, even at the cost of two actions. You're also, in essence, adding Lunge to the school without taking away a Swordsman Knack (and arguably, making it quite a bit better because your TN is only dropped by ten).
First, ditch the Free Raise to the Pommel Strike; it only makes the power combo worse. Second, consider getting rid of Pommel Strike entirely and adding Lunge; that solves the problem I mentioned above, and simplifies things quite a bit here. The Journeyman ability could become, "After the Swordsman has made use of his Riposte Knack to successfully parry attack and launch a counterattack, he may immediately spend an action--even one from later in the round--to attempt a Lunge against the same opponent."
If you don't want to drop Pommel Strike instead of Lunge, I would go with something else entirely. A suggestion: "To parry an attack is to prepare one of your own." The Journeyman has learned to follow up a riposte with a quick, second attack from his knife. When the swordsman is making the attack portion of a Riposte, he may choose to take one additional Raise to represent the follow-up knife attack. If the attack roll is successful, the damage roll is increased by standard Knife damage (+1k2). (You could probably get away without the Raise, if you were so inclined, so long as the Master ability isn't too potent.)
Master: This ability exacerbates the problem currently existing. I'd rework it so that you still halve the Parry and Attack Knacks, but now the Swordsman's Ranks in Riposte add KEPT dice to the parry and attack rolls. It's suitably nasty for a Master ability and it emphasizes the counter attack aspects.
As I look at this, however, I've really suggested an entirely different school. The way I see it, you now have two options:
Option 1: The "Ubercombo" School
Knacks: Lunge, P-Strike, Riposte
App: NOHP with knife. Use Swordsman Knacks with Riposte.
J'man: Spend a future Action to Lunge after a successful Riposte.
Master: Riposte adds kept dice (+1k1) after Knacks are halved.
Option 2: The "True Counter" School
Knacks: Double Parry, P-Strike, Riposte <--or lose P-Strike for something like Wall of Steel
App: NOHP with knife. Action Dice reduced by ML if used for Riposte.
J'man: Damage after a Riposte increased by +1k2.
Master: Riposte adds kept dice (+1k1) after Knacks are halved.
Wow. An awful lot of babbling there, huh? Sorry 'bout that.
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"Why, with the power of the Death Star, can we not have a tray that is dry?" --Darth Vader, in the Death Star canteen
Poisoned Shadows on the Web
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